I was doing a few things in town earlier today and saw several adults with children. That’s not odd since school is still out over here, so you do see more kids out and about. But what bothered me was the attitude of the adults (I say adults because maybe it was a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc). They were yelling at the children, snapping at them, and all around having a bad attitude. You could tell that they were angry and frustrated, possibly not used to being around their children so much.
Some parents will say that yelling and anger is normal for their family. That’s how they were raised and that’s how they are raising their kids. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing or a right thing. Several things happen when you react to children (yours or others) with yelling and anger.
- You are teaching them. They can end up thinking that if they want a response from you, they have to make you angry. They won’t listen or show obedience until you yell at them or threaten them. They won’t take you seriously unless you raise your voice. This may be how some were raised, but it isn’t right or Biblical.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
- You are setting a bad example for them. All of us are being watched by others. They see what we do, how we respond, and with children this can shape how they behave. When they get frustrated they will get angry and yell at others. It spreads the anger like a plague. Anger begets anger.
Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. “
- You are instilling a dreadful fear in the child. They will dread when you are around. You will not be able to enjoy fellowship with them because of your anger and yelling. It can lead to them avoiding you or fleeing your house as soon as they are old enough.
2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.“
If you’ve fallen into this trap of anger, let God help you and deliver you from it. Anger is a snare that you cannot escape from on your own. It doesn’t matter if you are a father, mother, grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, or uncle; nobody likes an angry person. Ask God to deliver you from anger. Some things that will help you would be: reading and meditating upon the Word of God, listening to godly music like the Bible talks about (psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs), and ask God to give you patience and wisdom.
Don’t forget this very important Bible verse:
Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”